High-Heeled Shoes Are Bad For You!

Have high-heeled shoes gone too far? A friend posted a picture of the high-heeled shoe that is a Teva collaboration with Grey Ant and it has cogitated in my mind ever since. Why? It’s the fetishism of high heels that bugs me, sorry Grey Ant, but yeah, you bug me.

Love Tevas, Hate Heels
I love my Teva Sandals. I wear them all summer long, proud to sport a Teva Tan when my feet are bare. So when I saw the stiletto heel with the Teva name I think part of me went insane, temporarily of course. I mean, am I supposed to hike in stilettos? Is this good for my feet? Are stilettos a secret rock and terrain climbing tool that I didn’t know about? While Teva might call it “a shot of adrenaline for the outdoor market”, I found it nauseating on so many levels.

In the advertising and promotion of the new product, there are pictures of women rock climbing and doing yard work in their stiletto Grey Ant sandal, as if it is safer and more comfy to hoof it whilst balanced on four to five inches of pointiness. Is this a conceptual shoe? As in, we are not supposed to really climb rocks and haul wheelbarrows in our high heels, it’s just an idea? And conversely, can you imagine a male construction worker wearing high-heeled, steel-toe boots? Conceptually, someone needs to design this and make a music video of male construction workers with jack hammers wearing stiletto-heeled work boots. Why? To show how absurd it is…

Why High Heels?
What is the purpose of the high heel? The high heel is exclusively for aesthetic benefit, as in, some of society has decided that women look better in high heels. The high heel makes us look taller and accentuates our legs and feet. A former boyfriend once told me, “Flats are for lesbians or women who have given up.” Really. And this is from a man who owned one pair of non-descript shoes.

My other stiletto, high-heeled beef is with pornography. The trend in the last ten years is for women in porno films to be on their backs in ridiculous high heeled shoes. I guess this is at least the proper use for the skyscraper high heel as the chick doesn’t have to walk in them. Though really, Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas is proof that women can dance in the absurdly high heeled shoe. Though, I do worry for her feet, don’t you?

High Heels Hurt
I think my bottom line is this. High heels hurt women and show how easily swayed we are by advertising and the popular media. Additionally, the designers of these high heels are men. I think that if men want to design painful shoes, they should have to wear them. And I mean you: Jimmy Choo, Manolo Blahnick, and Grant Krajecki. I would love to see these shoe designers strut their stuff in the shoes they create and sell for similarly ridiculous prices.

So while some people look at women in super high heeled shoes think: sexy, others of us think: fashion slave and podiatrist supporter.

(Men: consider my design for the manly man construction boot. They make you look taller and studies have shown that taller men are paid more than short men. Just an idea guys...)